Balancing Everything and Losing Yourself: Burnout in Motherhood
This post is part of our “Parenting Through the Seasons” blog series, where Aspen Grove Counseling & Wellness explores the emotional challenges of parenting across different life stages. Whether you're navigating new parenthood, feeling overwhelmed in the middle years, or adjusting to life with a young adult, our Georgia therapists are here to help.
The Quiet Burnout of Motherhood
You’ve just tucked the kids in. The house is finally quiet. You’re exhausted, but instead of going to bed, you stay up—scrolling, picking up toys, checking your email, loading the dishwasher. Not because you have to, but because you can’t quite bring yourself to stop. You want time for yourself—but the time you’re taking isn’t actually helping you rest.
Does this feel familiar?
Burnout in motherhood doesn’t usually start with a breakdown. It begins quietly. It looks like always being the last to go to bed and the first to wake up. It looks like wiping the counters one more time while everyone else is already relaxing. It looks like saying "I’m fine" when you’re absolutely not.
It looks like giving from a well that hasn’t been refilled in a long time.
At the Bottom of the To-Do List (And Never Getting There)
Many mothers I work with describe a deep sense of being worn down. But when we explore what they do in a given day, it becomes clear: their own needs are never on the list—or they're at the very bottom.
And here’s the thing: you never actually get to the bottom of the list.
Which means you don’t get to you.
Basic needs like sleep, nourishing meals, movement, connection—they’re deferred or dismissed. And when these needs go unmet long enough, exhaustion stops being a passing feeling and becomes a way of life.
The Guilt That Keeps You There
For many women, the idea of putting themselves first feels foreign. Sometimes even wrong. There's this persistent voice that says, "You should be grateful," or "Your kids come first," or "Your partner has a ‘real job’ to go to in the morning."
As if caring for a baby or managing a household or running between school pickups isn't real work.
I wish I could whisper this into every mother’s ear:
You have a job too. And you need rest to do it well.
Guilt has a way of convincing us that rest is indulgent, that asking for help is weakness. But guilt is not the voice of truth. Often, it’s just the echo of outdated expectations.
"I Don’t Even Know What I’d Do With Myself"
One of the most heartbreaking things I hear is:
"If I had an afternoon to myself, I wouldn’t even know what to do."
This tells me something profound—not just that you're tired, but that you've lost touch with the parts of you that exist outside of caregiving. Your joy. Your curiosity. Your agency. Burnout isn't just about energy; it's about identity.
Part of healing is reconnecting with who you are beyond your roles.
False Rest vs. Real Restoration
Rest isn’t indulgent—it’s how you stay whole.
Here’s what often happens after the kids go to bed: you sit on the couch, scroll your phone or turn on a show, and finally—finally—nobody needs you. But then it’s midnight, and you’ve traded rest for numbness. And you're still tired tomorrow.
This kind of decompression is human and understandable. But it's not the same as restoration.
Try asking yourself:
Does this soothe me, or just distract me?
What would actually help me feel more like myself tomorrow?
Rest Is Not a Luxury—It's a Right
Real rest isn't earned by doing more. It’s not reserved for when everything else is done. Rest is the soil from which your energy, presence, and joy can grow.
We need more than a quick break. We need moments of nothing. Play. Stillness. Sleep. Laughter. This is not laziness. It's repair. Just rest—because you’re tired. And that’s reason enough.
Both Parents Deserve Rest
While this post centers mothers, burnout affects all caregivers. And it doesn’t always look the same. For some men or non-birthing parents, it might show up as staying up late playing video games, watching sports, or drinking more than usual. These are attempts to unwind—but they rarely refill the tank.
What I often encourage in couples work is a simple, powerful shift:
Make space for both partners to rest.
Take turns. Trade off. Plan solo time on the weekends. Rest is not a reward—it's maintenance. You both need it.
How Therapy Can Help (And What You Can Try Now)
What’s one thing that used to bring you joy before parenting? What would it look like to return to that, even in a small way?
What’s one thing that used to bring you joy before parenting? What would it look like to return to that, even in a small way?
Counseling with a Georgia therapist can be a space to tell the truth about how tired you are—and begin to imagine something different. It’s a place to reclaim time, identity, and self-worth.
But whether or not you're ready for therapy, here are a few ways to start:
Put yourself on the list. Make it literal. Write it down.
Identify one thing that truly recharges you. Return to it.
Protect sleep like it matters. Because it does.
Ask for help before you're at your limit.
Make space for joy, not just recovery.
You don’t have to earn rest. You already deserve it.
You Deserve to Be Well
Burnout doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It means you're doing too much without the care you also deserve. If you're ready to feel more like yourself—with more clarity, presence, and capacity—therapy can help.
At Aspen Grove Counseling & Wellness, our Georgia therapists work with parents across all stages to help them reconnect with themselves, rediscover what brings them energy, and find meaningful ways to prioritize their well-being—without guilt.
If you're a parent navigating the ups and downs of this season, we’d love to connect. Schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation today with a Georgia therapist who truly understands what you’re going through.
Click here to schedule your free 15-minute free phone consultation with one of our therapists in Decatur.
Or give us a call at 770-954-5476, or email us at info@decaturgacounseling.com, and we’d be happy to hear what is happening and direct you to the right person to help.
Embarking on a therapeutic journey can be transformative, offering insights, growth, and healing. We at Aspen Grove Counseling and Wellness are here to support you every step of the way. If you have more questions or are ready to take the next step, please reach out. Your journey, your pace. We're here for you.