Finding Hope after Betrayal: A Candid Interview with Decatur Therapist Olga Attebery
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Olga Attebery, a skilled couples therapist based in Decatur who specializes in betrayal trauma. Olga is deeply passionate about helping clients navigate the pain and challenges that come with betrayal.
Here's a glimpse into our insightful conversation:
Me: Olga, can you explain what betrayal trauma is? Does it always involve someone hurt by an affair?
Olga: “Betrayal Trauma is not just sexual infidelity, although that is the most prevalent. It is anything that has been hidden then revealed… leaving the person feeling blindsided. Olga added that their world turns upside down as they question their understanding of reality. "Everything that you thought was true isn’t, so your life feels upside down.”
Olga went on to say that betrayal trauma can also occur outside of romantic relationships, such as in business dealings, or even within a relationship due to financial deception.
Me: In your work as a therapist, do you provide therapy for individuals or couples dealing with betrayal trauma?
Olga: “Both. Individual therapy is what happens a lot of the times. Especially when there has been a sexual betrayal and sometimes the couple has split, or the other partner is not ready or doesn’t want to reconcile so the person that has been betrayed has been left by themselves. The person that they would usually go to for comfort is the person that has hurt them.”
Me: Can you describe your therapeutic approach when working with clients who have experienced betrayal?
Olga: I offer a “lot of empathy. I provide a space that normalizes their experiences because so often people may think “I’m going crazy” because (they) feel so out of sorts. (They think) if I do not know my partner, do I really know myself?” Olga explained, that betrayal often involves gaslighting, which can make it difficult to trust anything or anyone. Triggers can also continue to surface, causing ongoing doubt and insecurity, especially if the couple remains together.
Me: How can couples recover from betrayal?
Olga: “Recovery is a long process. It’s so important (to me) to be honest about how long the process is to rebuild trust. But I also want to instill hope that it is possible.”
Olga explained that couples often wish to return to their pre-betrayal relationship but must accept that it's not possible. Instead, they need to grieve and let go of that old relationship, as it ultimately facilitated the betrayal.
Me: Your passion for helping clients affected by betrayal is evident.
Olga: “I love to be able to nurture hope, that is my favorite thing. And whether it is a couple that's staying together or a partner that has moved on, just instilling hope that there is life after this betrayal and that there can be growth that comes from this trauma.”
Olga's message for those dealing with betrayal trauma is that "there is hope, no matter what the outcome is, and you're going to be okay."
If you or someone you know is struggling with the aftermath of betrayal, don't hesitate to reach out for professional help. At Aspen Grove Counseling and Wellness, our team of skilled therapists, including Olga Attebery, are here to provide the support and guidance needed to heal and move forward. Remember, there is hope and growth after betrayal, and you don't have to face it alone. Take the first step toward healing and contact Aspen Grove Counseling and Wellness today to begin your journey toward a brighter future with the help of our compassionate therapists.
Click here to schedule your free 15-minute free phone consultation with one of our Decatur therapists.
Or give us a call at 770-954-5476, we’d be happy to hear what is happening and direct you to the right person to help.